Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
