Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
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