I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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