Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Randomize
