make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
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im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
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Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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