i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
