D3 body, D1 cock
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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