i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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