why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
