I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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