weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize