I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
