You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
