i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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