I think my fart just growled at me.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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