I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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