normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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