if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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