put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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