it was like getting a handjob from robocop
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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