at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Randomize
