I can't watch pbs sober anymore
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
