You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
