I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
is it fun? or sober?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
