I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
