i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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