5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
