She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
