Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
