I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
