I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
