no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
