I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Randomize
