Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

Did you fuck her?

(212): View more from New York

If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.

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(703): Did you fuck her? (212): If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that. http://tfl.nu/y42g

Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (3196)
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(509): View more from Washington

I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker

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(509): I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker http://tfl.nu/fgze

Replies (39) Good night (695) Bad night (2930)
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(718): View more from New York

You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.

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(718): You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants. http://tfl.nu/n5jd

Replies (11) Good night (2271) Bad night (877)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

It was confusing and full of hummus

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(215): It was confusing and full of hummus http://tfl.nu/wxk0

Replies (13) Good night (1745) Bad night (3183)
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(734): View more from Michigan

So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.

(810): View more from Michigan

You're 20.

(734): View more from Michigan

IT'S BUILD A BEAR!

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(734): So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear. (810): You're 20. (734): IT'S BUILD A BEAR! http://tfl.nu/k2jt

Replies (149) Good night (11722) Bad night (2378)
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(214): View more from Texas

you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?

(806): View more from Texas

i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.

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(214): you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him? (806): i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem. http://tfl.nu/wekp

Replies (13) Good night (4806) Bad night (1366)
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(917): View more from New York City

Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.

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(917): Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap. http://tfl.nu/690y

Replies (16) Good night (3748) Bad night (1438)
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(561): View more from Florida

They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.

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(561): They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment. http://tfl.nu/ozel

Replies (7) Good night (1418) Bad night (2342)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.

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(203): I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight. http://tfl.nu/nwmv

Replies (6) Good night (1151) Bad night (1604)
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(773): View more from Illinois

I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.

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(773): I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again. http://tfl.nu/53df

Replies (6) Good night (1852) Bad night (665)
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(708): View more from Illinois

i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???

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(708): i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal??? http://tfl.nu/az75

Replies (6) Good night (1311) Bad night (724)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.

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(208): I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw. http://tfl.nu/7hkg

Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (399)
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(347): View more from New York

The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?

(973): View more from New Jersey

That does not seem like timing

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(347): The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is? (973): That does not seem like timing http://tfl.nu/n0dp

Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (679)
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(516): View more from New York

I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.

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(516): I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/c92d

Replies (2) Good night (571) Bad night (369)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.

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(973): Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly. http://tfl.nu/v058

Replies (0) Good night (461) Bad night (173)

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