Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on. http://tfl.nu/mukq
  Replies (65) Good night (2794) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick http://tfl.nu/923d
  Replies (17) Good night (5344) Bad night (670)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby. http://tfl.nu/u78i
  Replies (55) Good night (783) Bad night (6564)
• Favorite

  (+64): View more from New Zealand

  If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+64): If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it. http://tfl.nu/njzt
  Replies (18) Good night (4958) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important http://tfl.nu/xvgc
  Replies (3) Good night (2984) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring http://tfl.nu/7l8r
  Replies (9) Good night (2270) Bad night (742)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs http://tfl.nu/e5lz
  Replies (8) Good night (1958) Bad night (1041)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (229): My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits. http://tfl.nu/0r0j
  Replies (6) Good night (1501) Bad night (949)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar http://tfl.nu/9n3o
  Replies (6) Good night (1307) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (318): You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude http://tfl.nu/d0gl
  Replies (10) Good night (1701) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (905): today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag http://tfl.nu/a7zv
  Replies (5) Good night (1547) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing. http://tfl.nu/esgk
  Replies (9) Good night (1849) Bad night (505)
• Favorite

  (463): View more from

  I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (463): I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file. http://tfl.nu/era2
  Replies (8) Good night (604) Bad night (297)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink http://tfl.nu/hb4c
  Replies (3) Good night (983) Bad night (288)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.

  (630): View more from Illinois

  oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (317): he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh. (630): oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life. http://tfl.nu/3sw0
  Replies (0) Good night (420) Bad night (187)

Randomize