Pregnant stripper...not hot.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT