SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
