there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Don't EVER smell your tampon
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?