He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Randomize
