Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Im at strip club and am horny

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  (313): Im at strip club and am horny http://tfl.nu/rj7w
  Replies (8) Good night (1290) Bad night (2026)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.

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  (843): THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in (843): Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine. http://tfl.nu/rmt2
  Replies (5) Good night (647) Bad night (2468)
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  (818): View more from California

  I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

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  (818): I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff http://tfl.nu/b3xl
  Replies (83) Good night (12171) Bad night (1338)
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  (916): View more from California

  We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.

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  (916): We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea. http://tfl.nu/qdx4
  Replies (8) Good night (664) Bad night (3224)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...

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  (540): so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it... http://tfl.nu/rkx1
  Replies (66) Good night (1413) Bad night (7154)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.

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  (207): No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have. http://tfl.nu/1nc6
  Replies (51) Good night (1503) Bad night (3563)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.

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  (610): Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon. http://tfl.nu/dlc4
  Replies (21) Good night (2837) Bad night (2357)
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  (831): View more from California

  I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"

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  (831): I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency" http://tfl.nu/zhku
  Replies (9) Good night (4018) Bad night (989)
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  (805): View more from California

  We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.

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  (805): We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits. http://tfl.nu/3ys3
  Replies (17) Good night (1083) Bad night (2617)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail

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  (410): i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail http://tfl.nu/uma4
  Replies (9) Good night (993) Bad night (2122)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.

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  (503): Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting. http://tfl.nu/fbmg
  Replies (6) Good night (2689) Bad night (520)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer

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  (508): He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer http://tfl.nu/btvn
  Replies (5) Good night (793) Bad night (2672)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  where are you?

  (1-816): View more from Missouri

  talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick

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  (816): where are you? (1-816): talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick http://tfl.nu/w2ig
  Replies (4) Good night (1446) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out

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  (412): Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out http://tfl.nu/mlh0
  Replies (6) Good night (452) Bad night (798)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  She shouldn't drink

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  (912): It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home (919): She shouldn't drink http://tfl.nu/4gbr
  Replies (9) Good night (522) Bad night (290)

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