Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
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I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.