I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.