I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
