what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
