i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
it's great music for shaving your balls
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
