is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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