Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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