you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
