No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
