it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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