either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
kristin has been a bad kristin
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
