So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
