I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
