You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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