Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
