I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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