Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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