so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
