is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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