areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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