Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
