You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
