Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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