trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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