i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
