her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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