I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i need some magic done to my vagina
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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