And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
