i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
