Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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