New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
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I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
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