Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
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Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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