My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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