i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Randomize
